Time of the Month
by Pit-Trap
Summary: It's that time of the month again for a few of the female Smashers, but they're not the only ones acting different. Pit seems to be acting a little strange...


Pit-Trap: I do not own these characters, Super Smash Bros, etc.

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"SNAKE!" A loud shout echoed through the halls' of the Smash Mansion. And in one of those many rooms' of the mansion, the owner of that particular name flinched. Snake looked over the newspaper he was reading and began glancing around the room. The other smashers in the room had looked up too after hearing the shout.

"Who was that?" Marth asked glancing up from the chess game he was playing against Lucario.

"That Marth," Snake said, eyes closed. "Would be Samus…" Lucario snorted after moving a chess piece.

_Why does she sound particularly pissed then? _The Pokemon questioned, looking at Snake.

"She sounds pissed indeed." Snake grumbled, closing the newspaper. "Oh, I don't know why she sounds so pissed. It might have something to do with this morning."

"And what, exactly, happened this morning?" Marth asked, raising an eye brow.

"I won't go into any details, but it does include guided missiles, cameras, and walking into her room unannounced." Marth rolled his eyes and Lucario shook his head. "It also doesn't help that it's her "Time of the Month"."

"Oh." Marth and Lucario said at the same time, both slightly cringing.

"That sucks." That was all Marth said.

_No wonder she sounds that pissed. _

"Yeah."

"Hey," Lucas piped up, grabbing the other Smashers attention. He had been sitting on a nearby couch, his nose in a book. Lucas had been quiet up until now. "What do you guys' mean by "Time of the Month"?" Snake let out a snort of laughter, Lucario blinked, and Marth looked flustered.

"Well, you see Lucas," Marth began, trying to explain. "There's a certain time of month when a woman…" Marth trailed off, deciding not to say what was about to come out of his mouth. "Every month a woman…" He trailed off again with sigh.

"Here let me help," Snake offered. "Why don't you get the explanation from a professional?" The others blinked. "Hey Peach!" Peach, who had just happened to be walking by, stopped, turned around, and walked into the room.

"Yes?"

"Well Peach," Snake began, a slight smirk on his face. "Lucas here was wondering if you could tell him what we meant by "Time of the Month"." Peach blinked, showing no real emotion on her face.

"Why, of course!" Peach said and motioned Lucas to come over. Lucas hopped off the couch and walked over to Peach. She bent over and began to whisper in his ear. After she was done, Lucas blinked.

"Oh, I see," Lucas said. "That explains so much! Thank you Peach."

"No problem," Peach smiled at him. "Now why don't you do finish that book of yours?" Lucas nodded and walked away, book in hand. Marth, Snake, and Lucario all looked at each other. Suddenly Peach whipped around, eyes blazing. "Which one of you told him about that?!" They all gulped, immediately understanding what she was referring to. "Lucas is too young to know about that kind of stuff!" Marth and Lucario both pointed at Snake. Peach then turned her attention to Snake, who began to look nervous.

"Now Peach, you gotta understand…" Snake stood up and began to edge closer to the door. "The kid's gotta learn about that kind of thing someday…!" Snake gave a yell as Peach suddenly pulled out a frying pan and charged at him. Snake ran down the halls' of the mansion, all while screaming words that he hoped would calm the princess and Peach ran after him, frying pan waving and death threats flying from her mouth. Back in the room though, Marth and Lucario blinked.

"Looks like it's Peach's Time of the Month too." Marth stated and moved a chess piece.

_Yep. _Lucario agreed, looking at the game board.

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"Good morning Pit." Zelda greeted the angel as he walked into the kitchen. She had been the only one in there, aside from Marth, who was reading the paper and drinking a cup of tea.

"Morning Zelda." Pit walked over to the fridge, opening it in search of some breakfast. After a minute or two though, he only let out a sigh. "There doesn't seem to be anything good to eat today." He stated.

"You've got that right." Zelda agreed, taking a sip of her own tea. "I swear, nothing sounds good."

"I suppose I could have a bagel." Pit said, shrugging, and getting some out.

"I don't know about you," Zelda said. "But I thought some watermelon sounded good earlier this morning." Pit blinked and stopped fiddling with the bagels.

"You know, that does sound good." Pit decided. "Do we have any?"

"Sadly, no." Zelda sighed.

"Too bad." Pit sighed as well and started toasting his bagels'. Marth, who had been quietly sipping his tea, glanced up at the two other Smashers.

"You know, you two almost sound like you're pregnant." Zelda nearly choked on her tea and stared at Marth. Pit also gave him a bewildered look.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pit asked, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Nothing," Marth held up his hands in defense. "It just sounds like you two are craving things and such…" Marth stopped talking when the two began to glare at him.

"Well, excuse me," Zelda said, an edge to her voice. "For thinking some watermelon sounded nice this morning." She grabbed her tea and walked out of the kitchen. After a second Pit followed her, carrying his bagel, deciding to eat it elsewhere. Marth took notice of a feather that lazily fell from one of Pit's wings and onto the ground. Marth shook his head and went back to his paper.

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"I don't see how they could."

"Well they are."

"How?"

"I don't know how! They just are!"

"That's not a very good reason," Pit, who was arguing with Samus, stated, while narrowing his eyes. "There has to be another reason."

"Well, there's not!" Samus said, also narrowing her eyes.

"Then they're not the same thing!"

"Whoa, whoa," Marth said entering the kitchen, only to find Pit and Samus arguing. He had come in the kitchen just to find an afternoon snack, but instead found these two at each others' neck. "Is something wrong?" Marth asked the two.

"Nothing." Samus hissed, looking away.

"According to you it's something." Pit mumbled and crossed his arms.

"What was that angel face!?" Samus yelled, glaring at Pit.

"Alright, stop." Marth said, coming in between the two. "What are you arguing about?"

"Samus thinks lasagna and spaghetti is the same thing." Pit said simply.

"That's it?" Marth stared at the two. "That's what you're arguing about?"

"Well they practically are," Samus pointed out. "They're both pretty much noodles and sauce…"

"That's what you think…" Pit mumbled again and Samus let out a frustrated sigh.

"And I suppose next you'll think I'm being ridiculous for thinking watermelon and tomatoes are fruit!"

"Don't remind me," Pit closed his eyes, resting his head on his hand, and letting out a sigh. "Watermelon sounded really good earlier and we don't have any."

"What?" Samus said, bewildered. "Of course we have some."

"What?" Pit flapped his wings a few times causing a few feathers to fall. "There wasn't any this morning!"

"Someone must've got some." Samus guessed, shrugging.

"So we do have some?" Samus nodded. "Awesome." Pit said. "You wanna have some with me?"

"Hmm," Samus blinked. "That doesn't sound too bad. Sure, why not?"

"We should get Zelda to join us," Pit suggested as they walked away from Marth, in search of some watermelon. "She wanted some too." That was the last thing Marth heard from the two before they were too far to hear. They probably didn't even realize he was still there. Marth sighed and shook his head.

Was every female in the mansion PMSing? Samus was on the verge of clawing Pit's eyes out and then she just decided to eat with him? And then there was Pit, he was practically asking for it. What was that about? Marth would never understand women. All the cravings, testy and touchy attitudes, what was next? Marth sighed again and noticed some white feathers on the ground. They were, undoubtedly, Pit's. He had seen quite a few of those lately. Marth began to think about the angel. He sure was acting strange lately. All this week he had been a bit touchy and irritable. Not to mention Pit's sudden weird craving for watermelon. Now that Marth thought about it, it almost sounded like _Pit _was PMSing. But that wasn't possible, guy's, no matter if they're an angel or not, don't PMS.

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Do they? Marth began to wonder.

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"Hey, Pit," Marth said, wandering up to the angel. Pit was sitting on a bench, in the Smash Garden, a book beside him, and an empty plate also beside him. The plate had black seeds and some red, watery, liquid on it. It obviously used to hold some watermelon. As Marth approached Pit, he noticed the angel held his hand on his stomach, as if it hurt or something. "Is everything alright Pit?" Marth questioned, sitting next to him.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah," Pit just shrugged. "I just ate my watermelon a little to fast."

"I see," Marth was suddenly reminded about how women sometime get cramps around their "Time of the Month". Marth cringed at the thought of Pit having _cramps _of all things. He shook his head. "What happened to Samus?" Marth asked looking around. "I thought she was eating with you."

"Oh, she left," Pit said merely. "She said something about Snake and left." Pit shrugged. "Anyway, did you wanna talk about something?" Pit asked, glancing at Marth.

"Huh?" Marth suddenly remembered why he had come to talk to the angel. "Oh, yeah, kind of…" Marth trailed off, looking away.

"Well? What is it?"

"Um, well you see…" Marth blinked. "I was wondering if…" Crap. This was going to be harder than he thought. "Um, I noticed that you've been acting a little uh, touchy lately…"

"Gee, thanks." Pit said, sarcastically, all while rolling his eyes.

"Well I just noticed!" Marth said and then continued. "You've been acting kind of similar to… to a…" Marth sighed. "I'venoticedyou'!" Marth said quickly and Pit blinked.

"I…I beg your pardon?" Pit questioned, tilting his head. "I think I heard you say that I'm acting like a PMSing woman." Pit blinked. "Is that right?" Marth only nodded. "Wait, what? You think I'm acting like one? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, it's just, you've been touchy, having a weird craving for watermelon, and you claimed to have some sort of stomach uh, issues…" Marth stopped talking when Pit started laughing.

"W-what? Do you think I'm actually PMSing or something?" Pit giggled some more and gasped a few times, trying to stop laughing.

"I-I never suggested anything of the sort." Marth shifted his eyes this way and that.

"Marth," Pit put a reassuring hand on Marth's shoulder. "I'm not PMSing," Pit tried not to start giggling again. "I'm molting."

"Molting?" Marth repeated and raised an eye brow.

"Yes, molting," Pit stretched out his wings, brought one of his hands to one of them, and gently pulled out a feather. "I'm losing feathers and new ones are replacing the old ones. It's natural." Pit placed the feather in Marth's hand.

"And that's supposed to explain all the uh, changes in attitude?" Pit ruffled his wings.

"Angels tend to get testy around their molting time." He folded his wings behind him. "It's all natural, along with all the other "changes" as you put it."

"Oh." Marth said simply and thought about it for a second or two. "So it's all natural and normal for you?" Pit nodded. "I see."

"So, I'm not PMSing, I'm molting." Pit cleared, smiling at Marth.

"Got it." Marth stood up, prepared to leave.

"Oh, and Marth," Pit stopped Marth before he could walk off. "I'll warn you if I ever start PMSing or anything of the sort."

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A/N: My sad attempt at humor.

This was a strange idea I had a while back. I finally decided to write it and it turned out terrible. It seemed kind of fitting for an angel or something to get testy around a time of molting, so this was born, but it still fails. Oh well, enjoy the terrible attempt at humor.


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